Friday, April 11, 2008

Nighttime Issues

JJ has recently discovered the wonders of Thomas the Train and is slowly but surely turning his discovery into a full-blown obsession. We just went to lay him down for the night and he threw a raging fit - pointing at the TV and crying "Choo Choo! Choo Choo!" We explained that Thomas went to sleep for the night, and JJ cried "Noooooooooooo!" We finally had to leave him crying in his crib and put the 5-minute rule into effect. Well - I gave him 5 minutes. Jerret said that JJ knew what he was doing and was playing us, and refused to go in and comfort him. He said he would let him cry for an hour (we all know that would never happen, and this is really funny because this is totally opposite of how we normally operate). I, on the other hand, didn't want to let him cry. Adopted children already have so many attachment issues and while many parents would just let their kids cry themselves to sleep, it is not always recommended with adopted kids.

I watched the clock closely and after 5 minutes I went into JJ's room and he once again asked for the Choo-Choo. I picked him up and said that it was time for everyone to sleep, the Choo-Choo and JJ, and he just laid his head on my shoulder and went to sleep. It's so hard to know the right things to do. But I am glad I went in there and didn't just let him continue crying until he fell asleep or made himself sick.
JJ will be starting school on Monday. He really needs it and we are very excited. He has not been playing well with other children and didn't want anything at all to do with my niece Jayden, who is only 1 month older than JJ. My sister watched him the other day and JJ cried whenever Jayden came near.


Gen 's Family Story said...

I'm glad you don't let him cry it out. We don't either. M has huge issues with his crib(i swear his crib cry is one of pure terror) so we put him to bed in ours and transfer him when he's asleep. We even got confirmation for this from an IA seminar put on by our IA doc. Orphanage kids on avg score lower on their IQ tests than nonadopted kids. Why? The stress hormones they had during their orphanage stay plays a huge part in reducing IQ don't let them cry it out:) Of course there are orphans that skew this curve, but why add to the stress they already had? You inspired me since we started our adoption journey and I followed your blog from before we got M, gave us hope, thanks Lori!! And the Intercontinental was fab because of you:) We are planning the CWA family picnic, are you?

Angie said...

Hi! What school did you decide on? Good luck with it!! Drop off might be hard, but I'm sure five minutes after you leave he'll be completely fine. That's what they tell me when C would wrap himself around my leg when I was ready to leave. We went through seperation issues around JJ's age now --- I think it started about 19 months and then picked up again right afte I had K. I think it's much harder on use than it is on them.

gina7277 said...

Way to go with your gut instinct. You will find that your instinct is almost always right. Even if it differs from expert opinion. You know JJ the best. Try getting him a plush Thomas the Train to take to bed with him. It might help with that issue.

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