Wednesday, November 29, 2006

The C-Word

Jerret always says that we are all doing things now that we shouldn't be. He says that in twenty years we will find out that the basic, simple tasks we all complete everyday will eventually cause cancer. I think that if we all lived long enough, we would all personally get some form of cancer and end up plagued for life.

I don't remember any of my friends losing a parent when I was younger. There was a boy in 4th grade who lost his mom, but she was in her 50's. Not old, I know, but not terribly young either. Then we lost my Aunt about 9 years ago. She was young and has three kids. So I guess I did know some people who lost a parent...but those were rarities.

In 2005 a friend from HS died of prostate cancer. In 2006 another good friend from HS was diagnosed with lung cancer and had an entire lung removed. We are not even 30 years old yet - this isn't supposed to happen.

In the past few months, I have met five other people at work who have a parent ill with cancer. Dave, who works in my department, lost his wife last year to breast cancer. Laura, who sits next to Dave, is a survivor who had a double mastectomy. Today we learned that my boss's father has acute leukemia.

what is happening to us?

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

It's Really Happening!

We've had many exciting advancements in our adoption process. First, in what was quite possibly the US Government's fastest approval process, I received my passport in a record 4 days! I had filed the application on a Monday afternoon, and four days later found myself picking up the Express Mail envelope from the post office.

I was actually there to pick up another package that had come in and was surprised when the postmaster brought out two envelopes. I knew what it was as soon as I saw my handwriting on the outside of the SASE. I became almost giddy in a schoolgirlish manner and began saying "It's my passport! It's my passport!" The postmaster looked at my like I was crazy, and I so badly wanted to explain the reason for my excitement, but I just grabbed the packages and ran to the car so I could share the news with Jerret.

A few days later we received a DVD with video of our baby. It is only about 5 minutes long, and he is only 3 months old in the video - so he really doesn't do anything exciting - but we just sat and watched in awe as the caregivers picked him up and laid him back down, shook the rattle in his face, and tried to get him to push up with his legs. Seeing this video made everything a little more real. I have been talking with other adoptive parents online and reading books on adoption parenting that stress the importance of working with your adopted child one-on-one. I can't wait to watch him grow.

Tomorrow we go to get our fingerprints taken and will only be about 2-3 weeks away from filing our official paperwork in Kyrgyzstan. Of course, this is all occurring over the holidays, which will cause delays in the approval process in both the US and Kyrgyzstan, but we can pray that this doesn't happen!

For those of you who don't know where Kyrgyzstan is, I have attached a map (and don't feel bad, it only declared independence from the Soviet Union in 1991). I'm still trying to play it cool. We were told that anything could happen between now and the time we actually bring our baby home, and I have heard the horror stories. I don't want to set myself up for a big disappointment, but that is impossible. All we can do is pray. Pray, pray, pray.

Friday, November 10, 2006


Mom is gone now. She is gone and it is hard without her. hard hard hard.
She tried to fight, but it just wasn't meant to be, so she is gone now and we will all stay here and live and remember and wait. Wait until we will see her again.

When I was younger I used to tell everyone that I would come back and mess with them after I died. I told them that if they were ever sitting home and saw their lights randomly turning on or off, that was me. I wonder if mom is going to give us a sign that she is still here, around us, watching us, whatever. She always said that if you see a bird's feather after someone passes, that is their spirit and a way for you to know that they are around. She was always finding feathers.

Friday, November 03, 2006

I Wrote This For My Mom...

To Ling –

There are some lessons learned in life
That only a mother can teach
And of these many, many things
My mother taught me these…

Not to sweat the small stuff
And it’s all so small it seems
To save money, spend it wisely
And live within my means

To play the music nice and loud
And sing with all my might
To say whatever is on my mind
And never back down from a fight

You’ll need an egg to make a meatloaf
And to make a good omelette you’ll need three
That everyone deserves a chance
Whether yellow, black, brown, or green

To take care of those who have much less
And help with what you can
There are so many who need a friend,
Someone willing to lend a hand

The good shows play on TV
Often after ten
That we women are capable of achieving anything
With or without men

To never let them see you sweat
Even when you’re burning hot
That life can be a little hard
So give it all you got.

I showed it to her last night and told her I would have it framed and placed at the funeral home during her funeral. Is that weird? I mean, we should talk about those things, right?