Friday, January 25, 2008

It's Getting Harder

In a moment of pure madness, I agreed to watch my two nephews last weekend. Don’t get me wrong – Raymond (age 9) and AJ (age 6) are good kids. And they are both willing to help whenever I ask. With that being said, they are still kids and display typical kid behavior.

We decided to attend the 5:15 Saturday church service since all of the boys were going and we’ve been having so many attachment issues with JJ – issues I didn’t really feel like facing [alone] at 8:45 the next morning. Once we arrived at church I dropped each of the boys off at their respective classrooms and proceeded to the auditorium to meet my cousin Carrie. Two minutes into the first song and my number appeared on the digital sign up front, meaning I needed to go check on my kids back in WeeVenture Land. Sure enough, as soon as those doors opened I could hear JJ crying. He was sobbing hysterically, like he was hurt or something and wouldn’t even stop when I picked him up. He just kept waving bye-bye to all of the adults in his room like he wanted out of there. At the same time a little girl named Ella held her arms out for me and cried “Mama!” She too started crying hysterically until I picked her up, and then she was fine. All I can figure is that I must look like her mother because she had super kung-fu grip going on and was not about to let me go. JJ wasn’t too pleased that I was showing attention to another baby and continued to cry off and on the entire hour. I ended up just staying back in the 1-year old room for the whole service.

After church Carrie and I talked with the boys and we decided to go out to eat at Chili’s. Carrie got there first and called me to say there was a 15-minute wait. We were still 5 minutes from the restaurant and I thought the kids could handle a 10-minute wait, so I was fine with that. What a total mistake that was! Our 10-minute wait turned into 15, then 20, and then 25. The boys were getting crazy restless and I was getting cranky myself. JJ was hungry and upset with just sitting there and wanted to get up and run around. Raymond and AJ were being typical kids and laying on the waiting benches with their coats covering their faces, and picking on each other non-stop. Finally, after 30 minutes of not calling our name, I packed the boys up and we headed for the car. JJ has been really irritated with the car seat lately and has gotten really good at throwing his body so that he doesn’t have to sit in the seat. He will stiffen up and cry and fight me so that he doesn’t have to get in the seat. After our 30-minute wait with no food, the kid was hungry, and cranky - very cranky! And I understand the reasons, but still, his attitude didn’t sit well with me. I was literally going to flip a gasket.

We ended up having McDonald’s for dinner and on the way home I remembered that I still needed to stop and get diapers and food to make for a funeral on Sunday. Luckily for me, Jerret’s family lives close and I was able to call Aunt Jill to come over and help (a.k.a. save me). My nephews really like her too, so it all worked out in the end. I was able to get much-needed alone time shopping at Wal-Mart for an hour and the boys were able to have fun with Aunt Jill. Later that night AJ and Raymond helped me make blueberry, banana, and cinnamon muffins for the funeral.

I never imagined being without Jerret for 6 weeks would be so hard. Although I am thankful for the opportunity, I think those Women’s Lib-ers screwed something up along the way when they fought for mom’s to get into the workplace. They forgot that we are still the ones responsible for the majority of the cleaning, laundry, shopping, and cooking! (At least in my house). With double the workload, this whole working mom thing is tough! And to all of you single, working moms…you’re crazy! But you have my utmost respect.


Esther said...

I thought a week was bad - I can't imagine 6 weeks. I would go totally insane!! :) I hope the rest of your time alone flies by very quickly!!

LaJoy Family said...

I can sense your struggle with attachment with JJ and wanted to offer you encouragement. We experienced much of what you talk about and then far more with Joshua. The car seat issues were so frustrating...and his desire to have control overwhelmiing. Being there alone right now doing it all is very, very hard. Hang in there! JJ will eventually be the easier child to be with that you are hoping for, but it will take time and consistancy...and much pulling out of your own hair to get there :-) If you ever feel the need to just chat or get ideas for working with him over specific issues, email me at

Hilary Marquis said...

Hang in there! Tim travels a lot too..not 6weeks at a time, but lots of back to back to back trips. Make sure you try to take a little time for yourself, even if it's just a bubble bath and book when JJ goes to bed :) Or, you can take a road trip to NE and I'll keep you company!

imtina said...

Holy cow...that is a LONG time. Do what you can to stay busy and let people help you too. I wish all us Kyrgyz families lived in the same area. I'd bring you over dinner and baby sit for ya! Hang in there!